To my prospective students – We will embark on a journey of transforming your relationship to pain. We will transform your relationship to pain (including fears and discomforts, anxieties, depression) from an avoiding and numbing-relationship, to a relationship of approaching, allowing, and exploring all aspects of pain. This is done with a “milk before meat” method involving meditation and present moment awareness that I have been practicing and learning myself since 2007.
HOW IS IT DONE?
I answer this questions like this:
I BE so intensely present with you, that you have little direction to go but into your felt self (your honest, authentic, self.) In that space your own experience of yourself is seen for EXACTLY what it is; then, you have the freedom to recreate yourself from that space. This has a permanent and lasting effect on those who are willing to take the ride.
Once in that space, there is boundless fulfillment, creativity, joy, peace of mind, understanding and forgiveness available. Once in that space, you can approach EVERY aspect of your life (and pain) that isn’t working as you would have it, and then begin to transform it. Actions that you didn’t realize were even available or possible, become readily available and obvious in this space. Action in your life will start like an avalanche. You will develop an insatiable drive to continue.
Again, I do not “give” anything to anyone, such as advice or a boiler plate format. I do, REMOVE what is blocking you from lasting fulfillment. Trust me when I say that we’re all full of Sh*t. In this context “full of Sh*t,” means full of limiting belief structures and thoughts and behaviors.
I honor your belief systems, so long as they honor what your are committed to in YOUR life. I will never project my opinion onto you. I have been trained by world-class professionals to listen for what makes a difference FOR YOU while removing myself from interfering.
There are no one-size-fits-all methods that I follow. Each moment is taken exactly as it is and my response is based on our collective presence. We will learn the power of words and very powerful communication. What I “do” for one will never be exactly what I will “do” for another.
More context about the process
Many artists and masters are born of a lifetime of suffering. They did not however, suffer the same way as most. At some point they invited their suffering in with open arms. Thus, they feel suffering with acute potency. And they allow the pain to take them over. This is what makes them masters and artists. Why would they do that? Well they learned to turn their pain into a teacher.
Instead of trying to numb the pain of the moment they embraced it and observed it. This is an extraordinary way to live life. The way of this practice is to feel all aspects of pain and hold all feelings of anger, resentment, pain, etc. in the ultimate space of love. This is much easier to say than to do – often, things of value seem to have this in common.
Allowing the heat of the anger to arise within you while holding perfectly still, so still that you’ve let go of a reactionary jolt which would normally take hold of you…. It is in THAT moment that the difference in your whole life can be made; so long as you are willing to hold still enough for long enough, and often enough.
The moment the lesson becomes available is the moment of “the trigger.” We all know the feeling of being “triggered,” our body turns into waves of heat, our abdomen seems to swell with anxiety, our throat gets tight, our back gets stiff, maybe our jaw is tight.
If, when the trigger arises, you can catch your body in the act – SLOW DOWN – take a deep breath then realize – AHA! This is the teacher! The teacher has arrived! You can then welcome the feelings in your body as appropriate and necessary visitors who have come to teach you another lesson.
These teachers (pains) in fact would serve you greatly to be welcomed into your full presence, as they are here to teach you a very specific lesson. That lesson is not available without allowing all the pain admittance into your presence. The suffering of the moment will not be wasted if you welcome pain and fear in with ease. Your body can relax, your breathing can settle, and you can show up prepared to behave/respond appropriately. This instruction has the possibility of changing your life permanently – but ONLY YOU can do the work. That work can involve breathing, meditating and practicing presence among other things.
On the other hand – as long as you try to numb your pain you will not be able to be rid of it. You can go an entire lifetime resisting the reality of pain. But they will return. Pain will demand an audience, but I promise that it’s a true teacher.
Numbing behaviors serve to keep you blind to the changed you need to make in your life. They aid only in offering you a comfortable feeling now – in addition when the numbing behavior is over, the pain will return (and most of the time feel worse.)
While there is an appropriate time and place to partake in numbing behaviors, if they are not balanced with discipline they can take over and you’ll have little or no ability to learn a new lesson.
Introducing discipline personally, you can induce pain on purpose to balance out your life and learn new lessons. Taking this position makes EVERY moment of your life infinitely valuable – the moment of pain is valuable and intentionally used, and the moment of pleasure is also very valuable and intentionally used. Nothing can actually go wrong when living from this position.
So, the question is: Do you go in a direction that you know you are committed to going IN THE MOMENT THAT IT COUNTS? (the moment of the trigger) or do you find yourself giving into numbing behaviors
Other Notable Teachers In My Life:
My Mother, The Buddah, Jeff Willmore, Eckhart Tolle, David Hawkins, Adyashanti, Byron Katie, Wayne Dyer, Rumi, Alan Watts.