Take a moment, now, and behold the insanity of the human ego within you. If you believe that you have no ego, pay attention to the voice in your head that is saying, “I have no ego!” That would be your ego talking. One way to observe it is to think of a complaint in your life that arises on a regular basis. This complaint is a way for your ego to justify it’s own existence. It is literally an entity that thrives and feeds on negativity. This complaint can be small or large, it may be subtle or blatant. As long as there is some form of loss, or lack, or unease, your ego is active. There are even hidden rewards that your ego gives it’s self, that you don’t know that you don’t see. They run deep within your being and they hold you in a sense of security. They secretly say, “I am in control, I will be OK.” They are there to keep your ego alive. They are there to be the reason you do all the things you do. If you seek a reason in what you do, you will find one, but it will be false. Only the false self needs or justifies with reasons. While the true self never needs a reason to be, because there can’t be anything wrong with what it already is. It never needs reason to exist and feel peace. The Ego requires reasons and explanations and justifications. It always will.
Buy the way there is no reward in seeking out an explanation as to why the ego does what it does. The best way to encounter negativity it to accept that it is what it is. An even greater way of being is to embrace all negativity within the arms of your true conscious being. That however will not be possible until you believe that it is possible. As well as let go of any desire to do so. The desire to be enlightened is the most certain way to build the false ego. Like the other side of a coin our true self and the ego are very together, yet point in complete opposite directions. Darkness has no existence without light, light has no existence without darkness.
Relax, nothing is under control.